So, as we go through recording all the sound for the master score of the film I'm also recording stuff from the scratch track (or rough sound). This includes the barrage of negative inner thoughts whispered into our hero's head near the beginning of the film. When I initially sat down to script out what I'd be saying I had to thing hard about the most clear statements that cut straight to my own insecurities as an artist. At the same time I wanted what I was saying to hit a broad audience of artists and their fears. Though I'm sure you can't make out all of them in the film I'd like to share the list with you:
-You're never gonna be good enough
-All your work is derivative
-You're better off staying put
-You'll never achieve anything
-They're all so much better than you
-You're too far behind
-You'll never be as good as them
-Everything you do is unoriginal
-You don't have the connections to make it
-You gotta have money
-You're weak
-Don't even try
-You're not talented
-You're not worth it
-They'll never notice you
-You don't have a voice-you never will
-You're not strong enough
-You're not creative enough
-Stay where it's comfortable
-Stay where it's secure
-Don't take risks-they will never pay off
-Just go back
These aren't even all the things I could think of but 22 is more than enough for the sequence.
I wanted to share the same sentiments I've had and have seen loads of other artists say to themselves. This negativity is rampant in what we do as artists and I thought it was very important to include in the film as the road block for our hero. I actually originally conceived of these two shadow characters that represented and spout this negativity at key parts of the film but had to balance and focus the plot a bit so they got left on the cutting room floor. Though those characters didn't make it I really didn't want to downplay this factor in the artists' journey.
Artists today are exposed SO MUCH ART on the internet and it can be REALLY EASY to get discouraged. Top that with the anxieties a lot of artists already feel and the weight can be crippling. I have seen it. A lot.
That's why I feel it's a very important aspect to show in the film.
I hope that this film is able to communicate how the hero's resolve and determination help him through those anxieties. I reeeaaalllly hope this encourages artists of any medium to plow through that roadblock.